The songs I love are those that help me amplify or understand the following feelings:
confidence | glam | displacement | reflection | restlessness | detachment | love | assurance
And the songs—with embedded Spotify links—are:
Confidence
Songs I listen to when I feel optimistic, confident, and courageous.
1. Rosalía – Saoko (2022)
Incredibly cheeky and punk, Rosalía’s opening track on her third album Motomami is a powerful anthem for growth, change, and transformation. I love the cute metaphor of a butterfly used against the backdrop of alternative, dark reggaeton. I feel incredibly confident and energized whenever I listen to this one.
2. Rhythm On The Loose – Break of Dawn (Strike Remix) (2021)
This track always puts me in a good mood. The lyrics are so simple: “I’m surprised to see your suitcase at the door, remember the good times, don’t you want them more?”, and yet they capture so much. Celebration, connection, love, reunion, nostalgia, heartbreak, and hope. I did like the original version, but this remix truly added something more to it—the energy of it always reminds me how beautiful and enjoyable life can be.
3. Marie Davidson – Work It (Soulwax Remix) (2019)
I love Marie’s album “Working Class Woman” and the original version of this song. The Soulwax remix, however, adds even more humor and sassiness. I fell in love with Marie’s satire in the lyrics, her own self-awareness, and commentary on our society and self-improvement. It’s a track that reminds me to never take life or myself too seriously and it always adds levity to my way of thinking.
4. Ariana Grande – bloodline (2019)
Sassy, fun, and energetic. This is Ariana Grande at her best. The song always reminds me of the summer I spent on the Rockaway Beach in New York, when someone was blasting the song through their speakers and everyone was just lounging, sunbathing, and bopping to it. Such sense of carefreeness that I need when I am missing it in my life.
5. Claire Laffut, Yseult – Nudes (2019)
If I could describe summertime through one song, it would be this one. Pop, bossanova, and R&B combined into a Gen-Z mastery of a summer jam. Incidentally, I discovered this song during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic in June 2020, when I needed it the most.
6. M.I.A. – Bamboo Banga (2007)
If there could be a song for counterculture, cooler-than-anything, self-directed pep rally, this would be the one. The track sounds so fresh and empowering, even today. Love listening to it when I need that kick to feel that I can handle anything.
7. Kylie Minogue – Slow (Extended Mix) (2003)
Such a sexy, hypnotic, and iconic track. Unlike the other songs in this category, this one doesn’t radiate the typical, ostentatious sense of confidence. “Slow” is sultry, patient, and minimalist, which is exactly why it makes me feel confident whenever I listen to it. The extended-mix version of the song is the perfect backdrop for peak daytime clubbing.
8. Der Dritte Raum – Hale Bopp (1998)
Beautiful melodic, upbeat, and classic techno. This track has the most stunning progression; every time I listen to it, I am reminded of the transcendent feeling one gets when dancing and getting lost to the beauty of club music and in the joy of living life.
Glam
The feeling of glamour I get when experiencing the full spectrum of nightlife, with all its beauty, glitz, and grime.
1. Perel – Spuistraat (2022)
Such a funky, enigmatic, and energetic piece of electro music. I love how the track completely surprises you with the direction halfway through. The tension that’s built throughout the entire eight minutes reminds me of that ecstatic mixture of impatience and excitement when getting ready to go out or waiting for a long-awaited concert to start.
2. Shakedown – At Night (Peggy Gou’s Acid Journey Remix) (2018)
Such an ecstatic track. The original was already fantastic on its own, but Peggy Gou’s acid remix adds a whole new dimension to it. This song captures the wonders of going out and embracing nightlife, but to me, at least, it also captures the beauty of being on your own at night, when you want to be carefree and forget about all the things in life you need to deal with during daytime.
3. DJ Koze – XTC (2015)
A beautiful club, afterparty track. I love the softness of it, how well it captures that ephemeral feeling of being lost in the music, dancing, and feeling safe. It was a track I used to listen to a lot when I was exploring San Francisco’s nightlife, and sometimes I would listen to it on repeat even when just going on long walks at night.
4. Lady Gaga – Scheiße (2011)
Criminally underrated song. Electroclash, eurodance, and techno that together create imagery of high fashion, chic nightclubbing, and self-empowerment. Sometimes, I forget about the song, and each time I rediscover it, I am reminded of how vibrant and optimistic Gaga’s messaging is.
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero (2009)
I think this might even be considered glam rock genre? Absolutely love the song: my favorite part is when the opening “shake it like a ladder to the sun” subtly comes in, and then when it kicks in again after the first chorus, but with more prominent percussion. The arrangements and Karen O’s voice add so much pizzazz, and all I can think about when listening to this song is wearing a punk chic outfit on a Friday night in a grungy, bustling nightlife neighborhood.
6. M.I.A. – XR2 (2007)
7. Róisín Murphy – Overpowered (2006)
This song radiates glamour. The acid background, the lyrics, and Róisín’s beautiful outfits in the music video together create an otherworldly imagery of chicness. I would often listen to this song when I was living in New York and walking around the Lower East Side late at night. The song doesn’t age at all and to this day sounds avant-garde.
8. Hollis P. Monroe – I’m Lonely (1997)
Despondent and yet such an uplifting track. I love how it slowly builds up and beautifully captures the agony of loneliness, a universal experience of human existence that especially becomes prominent in nightlife. The song’s energy and beauty really clicked for me during the pandemic, when the entire world stopped and when everything came to a full stop.
9. SNAP! – Rhythm is a Dancer (1992)
A classic. Some of the finest eurodance music that fits any nightlife ambient. I love how the track sounds both ecstatic and despondent at the same time, which is probably what makes it so timeless.
10. Grace Jones – I’ve Seen That Face Before (Libertango) (1981)
Another classic as well. This is probably the best example of lyrics and music perfectly matching each other: even if this song had no words, I would still know what it was about. Exquisite portrayal of the darker sides of nightlife; “strange, he’s standing there alone, staring eyes chill me to the bone” lyrics add a strong undertones of horror to the song.
Displacement
The feeling of being alien to a particular place. These songs capture the beauty and confusion of that emotion.
1. Rina Sawayama – Akasaka Sad (2020)
Love this song because it so beautifully captures the pain of trying to be connected with your culture and hometown, but ending up feeling alienated from them even more. The verse “28 and I still want to scream, can’t face who I can and can’t be, 5,938 miles between you, you make me Akasaka Sad” feels poignant and cathartic at the same time.
2. St. Vincent – Los Ageless (2017)
I guess this could be seen also as a love song, but I interpreted it as being disillusioned with a place that initially promises so much. I definitely experienced this with parts of my existence in California, much like St. Vincent does with LA, and I closely connect with the “how can anybody have you, lose you, and not lose their minds to” verse. Despite making me mad sometimes, California always pulls me back.
3. La Roux – Uptight Downtown (2014)
This one I always enjoy listening to because I often feel the same way Elly Jackson does in this song when witnessing riots: detached and observant, seeing the experiences as neutral stories and not seeing myself as part of them. I never understood why, but it helped that there was a song out there documenting the same sentiment.
4. John Grant – Pale Green Ghosts (2013)
The production on this song is wonderfully melodramatic. I love Grant’s voice on this one, how beautifully it blends with the incisive lyrics, and how vividly he portrays the haunting feeling of being surrounded by the trees close to his hometown in Colorado. Maybe that’s not what the song is about, but the lyrics and music always remind of that visceral feeling one gets when experiencing the time warp of returning to your childhood home.
5. The Mynabirds – LA Rain (2010)
I have been mishearing lyrics to this one for a decade, thinking it was a song romanticizing Hollywood (even loving it with that interpretation), and only recently did I realize that it’s likely describing Laura Burhenn’s inability to adjust to California and the underlying anxiety that comes with it. I love how she describes the situations on the Californian highways and that she references people in her life telling her to just lose herself and that is “an easy art for [her] to master.” Such clever songwriting.
6. Planningtorock – Bolton Wanderer (2006)
This song is as eccentric and bizarre as it can get. I heard it for the first time when I was 16, and immediately connected with it, even though I have not yet experienced the liberating and confusing feeling of dissociating from my hometown at the time. Years later, I would understand what Rostron’s lyrics meant: that we sometimes need to escape places to confront ourselves and find out who we truly are.
Reflection
Or being pensive, nostalgic, and yearning for something. When I have to turn to introspection, these songs are my go-to.
1. Róisín Murphy – Something More (2020)
Ms. Murphy delivering another masterpiece. This one has a few versions since its release, but the studio album version is my favorite. The song has a genuinely nostalgic energy to it, and the lyrics are deeply introspective, analyzing our desire to always want something more. There is one moment in the song where the music becomes more upbeat, and I sometimes wish that it never did and that it kept the downtempo tone throughout the entire production.
2. Richie Blacker – Sesh Gremlins (2020)
Beautiful, pensive track that is reminiscent of old rave music. It’s something that I didn’t experience myself as I was very young back then, but listening to Richie’s production teleports me to this time. It’s a true encapsulation of nostalgia in one song.
3. Full Circle – Shiver (Jack The Ripper Is A Tripper Mix) (2020)
I discovered this track while listening to Tijana T’s 2-hour set on Rinse.fm. So beautifully introspective, it provides endless space for reflection and self-analysis. I listened to it on repeat during peak COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, sitting on the rooftop of my building in San Francisco, and staring at the city’s October skyline, hidden in the fog at dusk.
4. Nils Frahm – Talisman (2019)
I don’t know how he did it, but Nils Frahm created such a vicarious experience with this one. Whenever I listen to it, I am transported to some distant land, standing on a windy cliff, and looking at the majestic ocean around me. Stunning production, infused with nostalgia and hope at the same time.
5. Marie Davidson – Day Dreaming (2018)
This is a beautiful one. I always listen to it on rainy fall days or during late-summer sunsets. The lyrics are so, so incisive and poignant. “A driver will drive you, a booker will book you, a promoter will pay you” and “living is not a lucrative job, no one will do it for you” are always a great reminder that no one owes us anything: we are solely responsible and accountable for our lives.
6. Robyn – Send to Robin Immediately (2018)
This one could go into categories of Love and Glam as well. It reminds me a lot of DJ Koze’s XTC, which I picked as one of my favorites in nightlife glamour category, but Robyn’s song has a more nostalgic feel to it. The track builds up and never truly releases the pent-up energy, but instead dissipates slowly, giving rise to pure nostalgia: a sense of warmth that sticks around for a bit and then vanishes completely.
7. nipplepeople – FRKA (2017)
Incredible synth-pop rendition of an old, witty, and sassy Croatian song. It sounds so celestial and otherworldly, and on top of the “I discovered myself in turmoil, I discovered a face and a teardrop, I discovered love and ass” lyrics, nipplepeople’s version creates a truly vicarious, nostalgic atmosphere.
8. Nicki Minaj – I Lied (2014)
Truly one of the most underrated gems on Nicki Minaj’s repertoire. It’s an incredibly personal song, and therefore not always relatable, but it’s exactly that level of vulnerability that makes this track so pensive and thought-provoking. The production is brilliant; I especially love the ending of the song, which sounds very much like old-school trance music.
9. Fever Ray – Concrete Walls (2009)
Stunning piece of bizarre and haunting electronic music. I distinctly remember falling in love with this track as a teen, listening to it on late summer nights in my room. It’s can sound very ominous at first, but there is something truly beautiful and vulnerable beneath the pitched-down vocals. Even years later, I like to put it on before sleep as I work through my thoughts.
Restlessness
Strangely, whenever I am restless, I need to listen to equally bonkers songs to release that energy and feel centered.
1. Rosalía – CUUUUuuuuuute (2022)
An absolutely wild piece of music. I love how disjointed it is, going from rough industrial hip-hop to piano-driven ballad, and just becoming more bonkers with each second. Rosalía did a great job of creating a frantic track with such minimal production. I love listening to this one when I feel a burst of impatience that I need to let go of.
2. Marie Davidson – Chasing the Light (2019)
An excellent dance track that is equally dark and energizing. I love how there is something sinister in the sound; despite the complete lack of any lyrics, one can tell that the track was inspired by an endless chase of something unattainable—fame, success, happiness—through escapism. I like listening to it when I myself get stuck in the anxiety of this pointless rat race.
3. SOPHIE – Whole New World/Pretend World (2018)
This was one of those songs that petrified me at first but then progressively grew on me. It’s very intense and I certainly cannot listen to it all the time, but the production (like on every SOPHIE’s track) is magnificent, textural, and so infectious. I love how the energy completely dissolves at the end of the track; it’s truly a superb album outro.
4. Paula Temple – Colonized (Perc Metal Remix) (2013)
Warehouse, industrial techno at its best: rough, aggressive, and gritty. I discovered it when I was living in Berlin and it still reminds me of that fantastic feeling I got when I realized how connected I felt to the alternative, punky, and introspective side of Berlin’s nightlife. I do find it to be a very beautiful track, and whenever I dance to it, I feel a release of energy.
5. Soap&Skin – The Sun (2009)
I find this one to be truly, genuinely dark and haunting, while also having charming elements of romanticism. It starts off slow, with minimal instrumentation, and then progresses into a delirium-like outro with Plaschg’s soul-stirring vocals. In some strange way, this track relaxes me, but I can only listen to it when I am feeling restless or agitated.
6. Björk – Pleasure Is All Mine (2004)
I was so surprised when I realized that this song is essentially celebration of motherhood. Nutty, frightening, and yet equally charming, this is a song that I connect with any time I feel anxious. I love how melodramatic and gothic it becomes towards the end, when male choral vocals kick in.
Detachment
The emotion of letting go. I listen to this music whenever I feel it’s time to move on, from something or someone.
1. Lorde – Sober II (Melodrama) (2017)
This song could have so many interpretations, from the fallout of a romantic relationship to scrutiny from the press. I, however, always saw it as a beautiful poem about the creeping emptiness that sets in after an extensive period of partying and building friendships solely on the basis of going out and being there just for the good times. It’s something that we all probably went through, realizing that at some point we outgrow these types of connections and that we have to let them go. I love that the song captures all of this for exactly what it is: melodrama.
2. St. Vincent – Prince Johnny (2014)
Love, love this one. While the song is very personal, describing Annie Clark’s friendship with an unabashedly fun but self-destructive friend who’s deeply embedded in the New York queer nightlife, it is also a story that many of us can connect to. It’s very hard letting go of people in our lives who bring so much fun and adventure but who, for various reasons, are neither good for us nor for themselves. The production on this song excellently captures how heartbreaking, and yet necessary, detachment can be.
3. Holly Herndon – Fade (2012)
I initially thought of putting this one in the glam category, because I discovered the song while I was living in Berlin and exploring the city’s incredible nightlife. But, while they are somewhat indiscernible, the lyrics on this track are actually far more cathartic than self-indulgent. “How we fade” line hypnotically extends throughout the song, and the production creates a hopeful undertone toward the end, almost as if Herndon herself is coming to terms with separating from someone. A beautiful piece of electronic music.
4. Amy Winehouse – Tears Dry On Their Own (2006)
“He walks away, the sun goes down, he takes the day, but I’m grown” have to go down as some of the best verses in the history of songwriting. I love how uplifting the song is, despite Amy’s heart clearly breaking through her lyrics, and how maturely it portrays the self-awareness we all need to have when closing a chapter in our life and moving on.
5. Grace Jones – Private Life (1980)
Sassy and direct, this song is always in my queue when I need a break from everything going on around me. We all crave deep connection with others, but sometimes those connections can just drag us into unnecessary, complicated, dramatic situations. “You asked my advice, I say use the door, but you’re still clinging to somebody you deplore” followed by “your private life, drama, baby, leave me out” is that victorious mantra we all need from time to time.
Love
All the wonderful songs that, for me, capture the essence of love and loving someone.
1. Robyn – Missing U (2018)
This isn’t purely a love song, and I think Robyn wrote it after losing a close friend. Even so, I love it because the music sounds so celestial and hopeful over the beautiful lyrics “there’s this empty space you left behind” and “this part of you, this clock that stopped, this residue is all I got.” It’s a track that reminds me to cherish and acknowledge love for others, because we often don’t realize how much love we have for others until they disappear from our lives.
2. Planningtorock – The One (2011)
Haunting and heartbreaking, this is such a unique love song. Although I can’t say this with certainty, I do think it’s also a song about coming out and embracing queerness. The production so beautifully captures that feeling of loving someone in secrecy, and slowly unraveling that love to yourself and then to others.
3. Janelle Monáe – BaBopByeYa (2010)
This song is an absolute masterpiece. Cinematic, majestic, and so awe-inspiring, this is a love tune that I listen to when I need to feel that Hollywood-like sense of eternal love. At the same time, this is a bit of a protest love song, representing fight for forbidden or condemned love, and I love it all the more because of that.
4. Amy Winehouse – Wake Up Alone (2006)
Possibly the best case of songwriting I have ever seen. “This face in my dreams seizes my guts, he floods me with dread, soaked in soul, he swims in my eyes by the bed” always gives me goosebumps. I have never read lyrics that so viscerally capture that intoxicating combination of infatuation, love, pain, and sadness. It’s a song that will never get old.
5. The Knife – Pass This On (2004)
I guess many would not consider this to be a love song, but I do. And, I think, above all, it is a queer love song. Maybe today no one would bat an eye lash to a song like this, but in 2004, it was very forward-thinking. The music video is just as quirky as the song itself, and I always feel at peace when watching it.
6. Ghost Town DJs – My Boo (Hitman Club Mix) (1996)
I have listened to this one so many times, and I can never get tired of it. “At night, I think of you, I want to be your lady, maybe if your game is on, give me a call boo” are such iconic verses, and the soft, mellow production at the intersection of hip-hop and R&B gives this song a timeless sound.
7. TOTO – Georgy Porgy (1976)
Such a sweet song. This one I feel more connected to the music than the songwriting itself. The piano and the guitar on this track are so mesmerizing together: they wonderfully bring to life the feeling of being in love and expressing that to someone (who might not feel the same way).
8. Donny Hathaway – We’re Still Friends (1971)
I have Amy Winehouse to thank for introducing me to this one. Everything about this song is perfect: the narrative in the lyrics, musical arrangements, and Donny’s soulful voice. I really wish I was alive in the seventies to witness a live performance like this; only artists who felt genuinely and deeply could create and perform something like this.
9. Etta James – I’d Rather Go Blind (1968)
A classic. I love everything about this song, from Etta James’ stunning vocals to the hyperbolic, heartbreaking lyrics. “When the reflection in the glass that I held to my lips now, baby, revealed the tears that was on my face” is such a vivid depiction of that cinematic, surreal sense of eternal love that results in heartbreak.
10. Sarah Vaughan, Billy Eckstine – Passing Strangers (1957)
This was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid doing competitive ballroom dancing. Incredible vocals, beautiful arrangements, charming lyrics, and the chemistry between the two is so palpable on the recording. Maybe it’s just me, but I very much felt that Tony Bennett and Amy Winehouse’s rendition of “Body and Soul” was strongly influenced by this song.
Assurance
When I lose perspective, these songs remind me of critical pieces of life advice and give me emotional security.
1. Kelis – Emancipate (2010)
Such an underrated song. I believe Kelis wrote it as a word-of-wisdom letter to her newborn son, and I simply couldn’t imagine better life advice than what she says here. “Be just who you are, make no apologies, and when it’s all said and done, who’s really sorry” and “it’s up to you, baby, give ’em you, baby” always remind me to go through life authentically, honestly, and fearlessly.
2. Fiona Apple – Waltz (Better Than Fine) (2005)
This song feels like a reminder from a close friend that simply being kind is more than enough and that I never have to say anything just for the sake of sounding informed, smart, or competent. “Everyone else’s goal is to get big-headed, why should I follow that beat being that I’m better than fine” with the outro orchestra at the end sounds like a majestic enlightenment.
3. Björk – It’s Not up to You (2001)
Always timely and relevant, this lyrical and musical masterpiece reminds me that I have no control of what happens to me and that trying to orchestrate the “perfect” day will never amount to anything good. “When you wake up, and the day feels broken, just lean into the cracks, and it will tremble ever so nicely; notice how it sparkles down there” has become a lifelong mantra for me.
4. Lauryn Hill – The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998)
My favorite song from this iconic album. “And deep in my heart, the answer, it was in me, and I made up my mind to define my own destiny” always reminds me that, in times of great transition, one should keep pushing forward, because it is always possible that your desired destiny materializes.
5. Aphex Twin – #3 (1994)
It’s truly hard to describe the feelings I get when listening to this track, but it very often makes me tear up. There is something very assuring in the melody, making me feel that everything will be okay no matter what happens. Eternal peace is probably the best descriptor I could use for this one.